1. |
Germinate
02:51
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I'm an acorn fallen far from a gnarled tree
Waiting patiently
for my patch of moss in a perfect place-
to let love kiss me behind my ear
that I may germinate.
And when i have found
the place i wish to call my home
then I will begin
to grow.
But I will not rush
for there is no rush
for I am to be
a mighty oak;
dense and slow.
I'll reach my branches way up
towards the sky,
(good lord willing
the waters don't rise...)
and if I am so lucky
I may just throw
an acorn or two of my own.
And if they are so lucky,
they'll chance to roll.
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2. |
In a Bad Way
02:00
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So, there was a boy, and he was in a very bad way. His birthday came and went, and things weren't looking up. He lived in NJ, so he couldn't even buy tobacco products yet. His responsibilities rose, but benefits just remained the same.
So, he decided to do one of the few things his newly acquired 18th year would allow him to do: He would buy a gun; a revolver, six shots. He thought he'd use one.
He flashed his still-upright-ID because he could die for his country, but couldn't drink a beer, and bought the gun, and a bullet, and a bunch more. Because you can't just buy one.
He went home and loaded the bullet into the gun, and five more compulsively, because there were six places for bullets. That was probably the best compulsive decision he'd ever made, (aside from deciding to buy a gun and off himself in the first place.) Because as he placed the barrel to his temple, he realized he'd never shot a gun before. And he figured, what's five more minutes?
So, he went out back and found a bottle and placed it on a fence post at the edge of the property. He took a couple paces back, turned, and fired.
He missed. The first time at least. And the second and the third. But on the fourth try, he managed to connect, and the bottle exploded in the most gratifying fashion. He realized, he kind of enjoyed that.
So, he found a bunch more bottles and cans, and set them up on fenceposts at the edge of his yard, and spent the rest of the afternoon just trying to hit them.
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3. |
Joshua
04:18
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Oh, brother
where have you been?
It's strange how much can change
in just a few years.
You've distanced yourself
from your oldest friends
I've been here two weeks;
your mother's called me now
four times in tears.
Oh, brother
we are worried about you.
I know it's not my place to say,
"What you're doing is wrong."
It's just that, well,
I am healthy and strong
and you?
You're just wasting away.
I know you're just trying
to get it right
with the best of them.
But living an extreme like this
is giving up the fight.
You are enlightened
the moment you decide,
but the only way
we heal anything
is from the inside.
Sit with your sorrows
but don't fall into them;
salvation is not in some guru
(Duh, there's news.)
It's within.
So I'm sorry
for my sarcasm
my humble little coping mechanism
because this hurts.
So I'll try to put this softly,
your scared doe eyes...
Joshua: talk to me.
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4. |
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I've always been one
that people pour their poor hearts out to.
What's ailing them,
because people need to vent.
Yes they do.
And I'm short on advice,
but I guess it's just nice
when someone listens.
I hold every pain
from every broken heart
that I'd ever heard.
There's never anything you could say
to take away the hurt.
So you just empathize
and when you say your goodbyes
look at them with strength
peaking through
the sadness in your eyes.
And you hope that they get something
from the great nothing you can give.
All you can do
is to love life, live.
I'm sorry
for this cruel world.
I apologize
on God's behalf.
I feel you, dear girl
but I don't know nothing about
nothing about
nothing about
nothing about
who gets the last laugh.
So I'll give you a hug
and the love in my gaze.
This is a sorrow
you'll remember for all of your days.
But be strong
and like everything else,
it will fade.
It will fade.
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5. |
Done (#Klesha)
04:04
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I think I'll just walk into the cold atlantic
and let myself sink.
Someone just asked me,
"Oh really?! You drink??
Because you seem so pure; you seem so happy."
Well, I'm happy, that that's how I'm seen.
I wouldn't want to be a bummer.
Because at my best,
I am a joyous being,
but you get a few in me on the wrong night,
and I want to put my car into a tree.
I find myself taking notice
of of every beautiful ball of light at the bar
and I'm just Done.
I remember
that I lost the one that counts
now I'm looking for completion
somewhere it wont ever ever be found.
And I'm just Done.
I'm done with wondering
what you would have said
if you had the guts.
And I'm done with wondering
if I read the stars all wrong.
I'm done with hoping
that someone's gonna come along
and put all my wondering to rest.
I'm just Done.
And I want to walk into the Ocean
where the moon
is lighting up the waves,
take one salty lungful and sink.
But I wouldn't want you
to think less of me...
I'm just Done.
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6. |
Sideways in the Soup
05:02
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You feel like you're flailing
in the bubbles from a breaker.
Like maybe you got caught inside
on a big set.
All of your energy spent
just keeping your head above water,
but you feel like you're going under.
And you are.
I mean, we all are.
But you are not yet.
You cannot yet.
Please don't yet.
Now, I don't blame you
for feeling like you're sinking.
No, you know that I'm familiar.
But I sure do wish
that you could feel better.
I don't want to be insensitive.
But if you could just pull it together
for all of us...
You've got so much to give.
I feel like I'm failing
to coax you from the current.
Like I'm sitting pretty on the beach
watching you drift out to sea.
Far be it from me to feel like it's my duty
to help anybody else breathe.
But you keep talking about
this art you want to make,
this person you want to be...
I want to see.
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7. |
A Long Drive
00:45
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8. |
Fickle Me
04:38
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So, where do I go from here?
What comes next?
Where will I be in a year?
Life has learned me not to make
too many plans.
But I hate to ever say,
"I don't think I can."
So, what have you got
up your sleeve?
Do you think it's getting to be
about time for you to leave?
Where you gonna go?
How much of the plan
am i supposed to know?
Right now,
I'm missing the mountains.
But when I get back up in the Blue Ridge
God knows I'm gonna miss the ocean.
When I'm alone,
I wish for a companion,
and as soon as I get one, I'm like,
"God, woman, leave me be."
I never quite know
just what I need.
I just know when it's something different.
For a moment,
I think that I might like
to be able to see
but then I remember
what I'm after:
Mystery.
So, if it's not here,
maybe it's over there.
If nothing else,
it takes me on a journey.
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9. |
The Box
01:07
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10. |
Snail Mail
04:58
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Mail Lady
strolled by my way today.
had nothing for me
in her bag.
last week,
my dearest got my letter
Oh, mail lady, you'd better
believe she said
she would write me back.
For all the times
I have written
this'll be the first time
she's ever done that.
So I'm standing at my window
like a pup waiting for his poppa
to come home.
And I will stand right here
like I've stood for all these years
until that letter shows.
So, Mail Lady,
whatchoo think'll be in that envelope?
We talking,
all my hopes and dreams?
Will there be truth in every syllable?
Or a bunch of words veiled
so that I can't tell
what the hell she
really means.
Oh, Mail Lady,
sometimes you ladies
can be so hard to read.
Like why she's left me
at this window.
Never a straight answer,
a stay or go.
I'd assume that she's confused
but, oh, mail lady,
you're not supposed to assume things.
I wouldn't have to,
but she won't say so.
Hey Mail Lady,
whatchoo got in that bag?
Hey Mail Lady,
ain't she ever gonna write me back?
You tell me that you don't know.
Well, Mail Lady,
I appreciate that,
at least you'll say so.
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11. |
Clarity
03:02
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I need more space.
I need more hours
in the day.
There are so many things
I think I need.
There are so many more
I'd like to believe.
When we're getting down to it,
and let's get down to it,
I just want to see the world
for what it really Be.
May I look past the tip
of my nose.
May I be at peace
with the things that I've chose.
They were not all mine;
Oh my god, or whoever, She knows.
It's so much bigger
than the things that I think
I'm supposed to do.
It's so much bigger
than any me or you.
When we're getting down to it,
and lets get down to it.
There is peace.
There is solace.
There is nothing but...
Space.
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12. |
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13. |
Practice
05:43
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Picture yourself at your best.
A prayer in motion
and then ink.
You're form follows
whatever it is you think.
Press it into your intention.
Feel rooted to the earth.
Feel like a stronger person.
Believe it's in you first.
Calling yourself back to center
when emotions pull you off balance
(And they will)
Remember to remember
peace and solace
that which is steady and unchanging
Remember to laugh
when courage is wavering.
Remember to be b=humble
with your head lifting
and when you stumble,
know it's just your balance shifting.
Remember your greatest wishes
are those of a silly man.
And then wish them.
Wish as hard as you can.
Feel your power,
but let your face be soft.
Love life with everything in you.
Fear not casting off.
Feel at home
in the Universe' palm
Be thankful to be here.
Sing out your almas..
Because we are at home
in the universe
palm.
This is our church.
May Our voice' be alms.
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14. |
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15. |
Rosemary for Remembrance
06:10
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Rosemary smells like
Remember me fondly
and is spelled like
your best friend and you.
I have a precious memory
of rolling in the evergreen shrub
in your garden out front
and then going around
to everyone at your son
my dear friend’s
going away party
giving scented hugs.
Ty had just turned 18
and was joining the Marines
because I guess it seemed like
the thing to do.
That day
you recognized me
from when we were Fae upon a hill.
Oh, Mare,
this life is a little bit different than then.
I love it still.
Oh, Mary,
I remember you fondly.
I always Will.
Rosemary
Bends like the curve
of your calligraphy
and feels like it knows
just like you.
I have a melancholy memory
of a time you shared a real good cry
with me.
Because life had become
so much stranger
than Fae like you or I
thought it’d be.
You finally got to meet
the one of whom I spoke
so frequently.
And you had moments of recognition
and offering up your hard earned wisdom,
and your massage table
and you said your goodbyes
because she had to go
and so
I walked her outside
and I stole
I mean, I stole
one last kiss.
And then I came back inside to you, Mare.
You sat down in front of me
put your hands on my knees
said I Know, I know.
And we cried.
Rosemary
remembers like
the couple of months and weeks
before you died.
And looks just like
tyler and I
Sitting at your bedside,
listening while you spoke
halfway there from that thing in your brain
and the stuff that you’d smoke
to help you cope
with the pain.
You told us
You’d do more for us
from the other side.
Rosemary
is the essence of grace.
I see Rosemary
now all I see is your face.
Rosemary was always my favorite.
Now I know why.
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16. |
Clee Trimbing
01:38
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17. |
Everybody Peaches
04:02
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Every last leaf
on every last tree
and every last you and me.
Know it ain't nothing
the best damn peach you've ever had
can't fix.
Know there ain't nothing
a shower
some good cool water
can't up'n wash off.
Because it ain't nothing.
It feels good to bleed
like I am some kind of
real live human being.
And it's a little bit humbling
to pee in a bottle.
Or break down
or blow a tire
out on a hot interstate
because everybody breaks down sometimes
just like everybody urinates.
You know,
it's just what you make of it.
Are you ashamed?
Did you make it all in?
Did you get the tire changed?
Did you salvage the old rim?
Laughing shirtless in the southern summer sun
stranded on a narrow shoulder
stuck with a downhome accent
saying, "We'll get it boy!"
Because it ain't nothing.
It's not the end of the world.
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In Tent City Cape May, New Jersey
In Tent City is the musical performance art project directed by yours truly, brian lee. It aims to be a mutually beneficial entity; it exists to provide me and my friends with a cathartic outlet, and to invite you who might listen to come along for the ride. Best wishes <3 ... more
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